is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
