Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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