Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
