i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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