just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
