You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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