I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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