Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
