That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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