is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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