But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
