Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
