I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
