Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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