Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
