Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
