Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's never too late to be topless.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
