you guys were way drunker than both of me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
