Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize