Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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