she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
