so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
