It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
