So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
