omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
