Me too!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
