WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
