dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
