Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
