People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
