I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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