i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize