I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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