The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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