the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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