oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
