That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
