Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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