Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
wrigley field is MILF paradise
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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