just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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