It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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