yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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