His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
