Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
