you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
