How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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