so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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