i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
