They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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