fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you had me at cake vodka
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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