i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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