When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize