is your mom at the bar?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We got so high we made milksteak
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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