so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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