I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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