I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
