i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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