I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
