Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
