it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize