We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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