wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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