dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
