is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
